Your Resume Is Trash (But It Doesn’t Have to Be)

Let’s Be Honest: Most Resumes Are Boring as Hell

Generic. Bloated. Lifeless.
That’s the reality of most resumes.

They list every task you’ve ever done like a grocery receipt. They’re full of buzzwords like “results-oriented team player” and “strong communication skills,” but they say nothing specific about you.

Here’s the truth:
Hiring managers don’t read resumes - they skim them.
And if yours doesn’t grab attention in 6 seconds, it’s getting skipped.

Your Resume Isn’t a Biography - It’s a Billboard

Your resume isn’t supposed to be your life story. It’s a highlight reel.
Its job is to get you the interview. Not prove you’re qualified for every job on Earth.

Think billboard on the highway, not academic thesis.
Use space wisely. Use white space generously. And say something worth remembering.

Job Descriptions Are NOT Accomplishments

Stop writing things like:

• “Managed calendars and scheduled meetings.”

• “Responsible for team communications.”

• “Assisted with client onboarding.”

These are duties. Tasks. Basic functions.

What did you achieve? What changed because of you? What improved?

Try this instead:

• “Reduced scheduling conflicts by 40% through new calendar protocols.”

• “Streamlined onboarding process, cutting client ramp-up time by 3 days.”

• “Led weekly cross-functional syncs that improved team accountability and delivery timelines.”

Numbers > Nonsense

Every bullet on your resume should scream:
📈 I made something better.
💰 I saved time, money, or effort.
🎯 I hit or exceeded goals.
🚀 I added value that mattered.

If you can’t quantify it, qualify it:

• “Grew engagement” → “Increased customer engagement by introducing a new email strategy, resulting in higher open rates.”

• “Supported leadership” → “Acted as strategic partner to VP, streamlining executive operations across 3 departments.”

Stop being vague. Start showing receipts.

Tailor It or Trash It

One-size-fits-all resumes? Straight to the trash.

The most effective resumes are targeted.
They use the language of the job description.
They highlight the most relevant experience.
They connect the dots for the recruiter, fast.

If you’re not willing to tailor your resume, don’t expect tailored results.

Design Matters (And No, You Don’t Need a Headshot)

Your resume should be easy on the eyes:
✅ Clear headings
✅ Consistent formatting
✅ Bullet points, not paragraphs
✅ White space to breathe
✅ 1–2 pages, max

Skip the fancy graphics unless you’re in a creative field. And please, no headshots, unless the industry requires it. Let your content shine.

Your Resume Should Sound Like You, Just Sharper

Ditch the robotic jargon.
Write like a human who knows their worth.

Instead of “Leveraged cross-functional collaboration to optimize KPIs,” try: “Worked across teams to solve problems and deliver results - fast.”

Speak in plain, powerful language. The goal isn’t to sound impressive. It’s to sound clear and competent.

TL;DR:

If your resume is boring, bloated, or just blends in - you’re not alone.
But you’re also not stuck.

✅ Show outcomes, not tasks
✅ Use metrics that matter
✅ Tailor for the role
✅ Cut the fluff
✅ Sound like a real person
✅ And above all—make them feel something when they read it

Because your work isn’t generic. Your resume shouldn’t be either.